This piece was first published in Mecca M-Powered on October 11th, 2023.

Dear Daughter,

When you’re young, it feels like you have all the time in the world. School days feel like they go forever as you count down the hours and minutes and seconds to the weekend, or the school holidays, or whatever fun thing is coming up next.

Nothing ever seems to come around fast enough, whether it’s your best friend’s party or the next song on your playlist. But trust me, life is going to come around pretty fast. We get 28,000 days on this planet if we’re lucky, and each one passes a bit quicker than the last. So I’ll let you in on a little time-travelling secret… use today to decide how you want to spend your tomorrows, before it’s too late.

Right now, it probably feels like everyone is trying to make these decisions for you. What to do, where to go, who to be… everyone’s so bloody opinionated about what is best for you - but there is no one who knows you the way YOU know you. There is no one better positioned than you to make decisions about you and your body.

Life is a big choose-your-own-adventure, and it’s YOUR adventure. In the moments where that feels overwhelming, it’s as simple as breaking it down into two simple options:

Option A: more time, energy, fun, adventure, fulfillment, joy, contentment. Option B: being stuck on the sidelines, uncertain, flat, sad, disempowered.

One of the big things that will influence this decision? How you feel about your body.

The fastest route to your goals and dreams is by being at peace with your body, dialling up the self-compassionate voice and turning down the critical one. We’ve all got a voice in our head, so what relationship do you want to have with that voice for the rest of your life?

Every time you say something negative about your body, it takes you a step back in life, a step away from the dream you’re chasing.

Every time you say something negative about your body, it diminishes your power, your voice and your confidence.

Every time you say something negative about your body, you’re inviting others to join that conversation and diminish their power too.

When we focus so much on what we look like, it reduces our worth to our appearance. And we are so much more. We can’t demand more, if we’re the ones driving the narrative of ‘not enough’ by voicing negative thoughts about our bodies.

Being confident in your body is the leadership the world needs. We can’t strive for equality if we’re still saying “I hate my thighs”. Empowered women empower themselves first, then others.

Remember that the way you look is the least interesting thing about you. It’s not about your size or shape, it’s about who you are, what you do, what you contribute to the world, what adventures you go on. What makes you interesting is your quirks, your nuances, your opinions and your deep desires - not the colour of your hair.

Of course, you don’t have to have a great body image every day. You don’t even have to love or like your body, you can just be neutral about it. And on those days when the critical voice is loud and it’s harder to hear the self-compassionate one, look around you. Your Spotify app is a great place to start. Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Pink, Alicia Keys, Katy Perry… these fierce women are all out there living their dreams and showing us what it looks like to choose Option A.

While we’re on the subject of choice, there’s another one you can make right now. In life, choose to be your own best friend. It sounds cheesy, and you’ll have lots of other friends come into your life, but THE MOST important relationship is the one you’ll have with yourself.

This is your life, your body, your choice. Option A, all the way.

Love, Mum x